I was having this conversation about “the truth” with a friend the other day, and the scenario came up of a guy being in a relationship with one chick and then having sex with a different chick and returning to his so-called “girlfriend” and telling her “the truth”.
Unfortunately, 🙂 My friend’s version of a guy telling “the truth” included “blah blah blah blah and I made a mistake and blah blah blah”. Sorry. That doesn’t exist.
What had happened was….. He did what he wanted to do AT. THAT. TIME., and now he feels sorry about it.
Maybe he feels sorry because he went back on his word, which has nothing to do with his girl and everything to do with who he thinks he is as a person and what he believes (believED) his overall character is (was).
Maybe he feels sorry because he didn’t think he was the type of guy to cheat, and he found out “the hard way” that he was (is).
Maybe he feels sorry that he can’t look his girl in the eye and continue the lie that he’s only having sex with her.
Maybe he feels sorry that he’s going to break her heart when he tells her the truth.
Maybe he feels sorry that he’s risking his relationship being over, just because of a few hours (minutes?… seconds?) of fun.
Whatever he’s sorry about NOW has no bearing on what he did THEN, which was to pull up to the next chick’s bumper, bay-bay, in his long black limousine:
Now and Then
Does he feel NOW like it was “a mistake”? In the grand scheme of things, yes, he does. That doesn’t make his action “a mistake”. It makes it a BAD IDEA. People have BAD IDEAS all the time, like selecting Sarah Palin as a running mate.
See, but you can’t turn around after you get BLOWN OUT in the Presidential Election and say “Honey… I made a mistake by selecting Sarah”. The fact remains that you chose her, and you did what you did, and you got what you got.
Tell it like it is: “Honey… I made a conscious decision to run with Sarah Palin, and I LIZOST, big-time, like in a practically historical landslide”.
Similarly, if your man steps to you after the fact with some form of “excuse”, it needs to include the fact that at the time, he was doing EXACTLY what he wanted to do, which was tap the other chick.
1: to blunder in the choice of (mistook her way in the dark)
2a: to misunderstand the meaning or intention of : misinterpret (don’t mistake me, I mean exactly what I said)
2b: to make a wrong judgment of the character or ability of
3: to identify wrongly : confuse with another (I mistook him for his brother)
1: To blunder in the choice of: “Sorry honey… Turns out, I blundered in the choice of which female to have sex with”
2a: To misunderstand the meaning or intention of: “Sorry honey… I didn’t understand that if I tapped that, you would get upset or feel betrayed. When you had said ‘sex’, I didn’t know you meant ‘intercourse’, exactly… My bad.”
2b: To make a wrong judgment of the character or ability of: “Sorry honey… When she invited me back to her place so she could ‘Knock my socks off’, I thought she meant she could beat me at Scrabble or Connect-4. When I had told her I had a girlfriend, and she said ‘so what?’, haha I thought she was joking. 🙂 Apparently, I completely misjudged her character…. um… as well as her ABILITY!!! (good-googelamoogela!)… My bad.”
3: To identify wrongly: I’m not even going to get into this one, because I *JUST* posted about that in “Did your man call out another womanâ€™s name?”. Just make sure you apply “My bad” at the end.
Kilts and Bagpipes
So you see, even if you were to take his word that it was “a mistake” that he had sex with someone other than yourself, that’s not an EXCUSE. Neither is alcohol, but we’ve gone over that one already, back in September.
There’s no such thing as a guy having sex by mistake because first of all, there’s a physical arousal component that needs to be present in order for intercourse to occur at all. It’s not like y’all chicks that all you have to do is lean back and all of a sudden, you’re getting laid.
On top of that, being that this is neither Scotland nor Ireland, most guys are wearing *PANTS*! These pants are normally accessorized with BELTS, ZIPPERS and BUTTONS, so it’s not very likely that they were removed “by mistake”.
Claiming condom use is a win/lose situation. You’re giving up the “mistake” defense for the “safer sex” defense… That is… Unless you happen to own a pair of pants that automatically attaches a condom to your person if they’re removed from your body outside the presence of your girlfriend.
So, Please, Ladies. WAKE UP, and stop accepting these retarded “excuses” for what a guy planned to do, did, and is now trying to get over for. If you feel like your man LEGITIMATELY made a mistake by having sex with some other chick, and you took him back because he “told you the truth”, tell us the story in the comments below about how you went out like a sucker and fell for the old okey-doke.