Enabling Cheating In Relationships (Enough Is Enough)

We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve had to cover for our boy so he doesn’t get caught by his girlfriend/fiancee/wife cheating. Well.. If not “HAD TO”, we’ve all had it REQUESTED of us, and “the right thing to do” is hook your boy up and take one for the team.

Larry David’s had to do this several times by now for his homeboy/manager Jeff in his show “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, and after what I watched last night, I had to write about this stuff hahaha. Sorry cheaters… There comes a point where ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and you’re gonna have to get cut loose to sink or swim on your own.

I first became aware of this problem a long time ago. I searched for the episode reference, but couldn’t find it. I believe it was in season 01, and now, they’re in season 07. Anyway… Oh man, I was rollin’ off of this one! πŸ˜€

Larry and his boy live in California. They travel 3,000 miles away, to New York City and while they’re there, Larry’s boy Jeff hooks up with some chick. At the time, Jeff was married and so was Larry, so, realistically, Jeff shouldn’t have asked Larry to cover for him at all, being that they would have been taking similar risks getting caught hanging out with some chick that wasn’t their wives.

The Problem

So Jeff’s finished doin’ the do, and he asks his boy Larry for a favor, namely to make sure the chick Jeff just hooked up with gets wherever she needs to go safely (You don’t gotsta go home……. but you GOTSTA GET *THE* *HELL* OUT OF *HERE*!!! :D). Larry naively accepts this assignment and decides he’s going to walk this girl across Central Park to wherever she has to go. As soon as I saw this, I was like “Oh Boy… HERE. WE. GO!!!”.

There are several problems with this scenario. First of all, if his boy tapped it, it’s HIS BOY’S problem to export the chick. Second, being that Larry was married at the time, he couldn’t afford the appearance of impropriety any more than Jeff could. I’m especially sensitive to this scenario because since I’ve been single during 85%-90% of my dating career, I’ve been the de facto “play it off” guy. I can absorb the hit from my friends’ girlfriends because I have nothing to lose. There’s nobody you can rat me out to. Except for the few times that I’ve declared myself “in a relationship”, I’m never under exclusive contract to any chick.

This means that when a guy’s girl unexpectedly shows up at the club, she might find me hugged up with the girl her man’s been kickin’ it to and plans to hook up with later that night. The girlfriend can’t say or do **** about it because she knows I’m single and liable to be hugged up with ANY chick at ANY time, including her little sister or her moms if her moms still has it like that πŸ˜‰

This means that I might deliberately stay off the grid for a certain set of hours during a day so that my boy can say he was hanging out with me while he was actually kickin’ it with some chick that’s not his girlfriend. It’s important that I receive this communication ahead of time so I don’t accidentally walk down the avenue and run into dude’s girlfriend during the time that I’m supposedly bowling with him or whatever lie he told her.

So as soon as Larry accepted this assignment, I was like “He’s about to be ass-out!”. So, Of Course… Larry’s walking across Central Park with some chick that could probably be his daughter (not that The Kid‘s complaining about THAT! haha) and 3,000 miles away from home, he HAS to come across his wife’s girlfriend who just so happened to be jogging right then and right there.

Now, Larry has a big problem. He can’t explain this at-most-college-student away as a business contact. He also can’t tell the truth, which is that he’s walking a girl home that his boy just screwed behind his boy’s wife’s back. He also can’t take the hit and say “Yeah, she’s with me. What about it?” because he’s married AND this chick he ran into knows his wife. So now, Larry didn’t even GET ANY and he looks like he cheated.

Consequences & Repercussions

Of course, I was LMAO at this and rewound it over and over to watch him get caught by this chick! HAHAHAHA Oh man! πŸ˜€ IIRC, he went home and of course, his wife got a call from her homegirl before he got there and he was under pressure so he fessed up. I think he told his wife that Jeff had been cheating in order to save his own ass. This is part of the problem with trying to be a wingman. Dudes don’t think it out. Dudes don’t assess how much risk they’re taking on in order to help out a homeboy that SHOULD be helping HIMSELF and leaving you out of the mix entirely.

Jeff should not have asked Larry to export his girlfriend because he knew that Larry could have gotten in as much trouble as he could have if he got caught. Larry should not have accepted, because he knew that IF he got caught, he was going to spill the beans to his wife, which is actually MUCH WORSE than Jeff’s wife becoming suspicious. If Jeff’s wife thinks Jeff cheated on her, she still doesn’t have any evidence. If Larry’s wife tells Jeff’s wife that Larry told her that he knows first-hand that Jeff cheated on his wife, it’s a wrap.

What Larry SHOULD have done in that situation is tell Jeff to “Give that chick cab money and say SHALOM!” (or “Peace In The Middle East!” or “Don’t let the door HIT’CHA where the Good Lord SPLIT’CHA!”). There are too many options in NYC for exporting chicks without anyone seeing you together for Larry to have gone out like a sucker, which he did.

Same As It Ever Was

So that might have been six years ago…. Yesterday, I’m watching this episode, and now, in season 07, Jeff is still married and Larry is single so that makes it better as far as Larry taking the hit. So Jeff’s wife needs to blow her nose, so she looks in Jeff’s glove compartment and finds women’s panties. Obviously, Jeff tapped some chick in his ride and somehow, her panties ended up in the glove compartment. As a video editor as well as a dude that knows what panties look like AFTER they come off of a chick, I have to mention that the state of the panties was RIDICULOUS when the wife pulled them out of the glove compartment. They looked like they just came off the rack or the bin @ Victoria’s Secret. And, YES, I’ve been to VS countless times and I’m fully aware that they have bins for the discount bras that chicks hawk over. Actually, even if those panties had come out of that bin, they STILL wouldn’t have looked as starched as the panties she retrieved from Jeff’s glove compartment haha.. Not to mention that in getting them off, they would have rolled up and they shouldn’t have been so obviously never-moist… Anyway…

So the point is that Jeff decides that the best explanation for these panties (which might also be the reason why they were in pristine condition as opposed to being rolled off of some chick’s thighs just before she collected head from Jeff) is that not only do they belong to LARRY, but they belong to him because Larry. Enjoys. Wearing. Women’s. Panties. :/

Now, this was retarded off the bat. This was just too much. What Jeff SHOULD have said was that Larry had a date and his car was in the shop so he asked to borrow Jeff’s and *LARRY* left some chick’s panties in Jeff’s glove compartment. That’s something that Larry would have been able to cop a plea to with zero repercussions because he’s single now. The way Jeff set it up, he was asking too much of Larry. Jeff’s wife has a tremendously big mouth AND she’s a gossip. If she actually believed that Larry liked to wear women’s panties, that was going to be all over their social scene in a hot minute. It’s not true, AND it’s a lie that could affect Larry’s dating life going forward, so it’s just too much.

There was more to the episode, but I’m not going to talk about it in case you want to watch it and LYAO yourself, haha (The recent “Officer Krupke” episode).

Noooooo Mah Brotha… You’ve Gotsta Buy YOUR OWN!

The lesson here is that while it’s your sworn duty to bail out your boys in case they accidentally get themselves into a mess that could threaten their current relationship, HELP only goes SO FAR.

Seriously.

Some people aren’t meant to cheat. They don’t know what they’re doing. They’re just not cut out for it. They would like to imagine themselves as playboys but they’re obviously not.

Your hooking them up regardless of whatever wacko schemes they heap upon you is only enabling them to remain lame-o cheaters and not have to pay any consequences whatsoever. You’re doing more to support their relationship than THEY are, and you’re getting nothing of value in return.

On top of that, as soon as you stop enabling them, their relationship will be over anyway because they’re going to get caught and you won’t be there to bail them out. What’s the point of that? If it’s gonna end, let it end NOW so you don’t have to be bothered with these bull**** requests. You’re not the one that pledged fidelity to the chick, your boy is. If he can’t hold up his own word, maybe he needs to learn to or not be in relationships at all.

Also, if he’s not looking out for YOU and YOUR best dating interests, why should you look out for HIM? Why should he put you in a position where you can get get caught by your wife with a chick you didn’t even have sex with? Why should he put you in a position where his gossip-ass-wife that doesn’t like you in the first place is going to tell all her friends that you like to wear women’s panties?

What he needs to do is get his game tight or give it up altogether and stick with what he already has. Put his wife in the gym. Get her to stop being crabby. Whatever he has to do to be satisfied with his current relationship, let him concentrate on THAT instead of constantly screwing up and expecting YOU to bail him out regardless of the consequences to your personal or professional life.

Let your boy know that YOU help those who help THEMSELVES. If he’s not going to put HIS best foot forward, then neither are YOU.

Beleedat!

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

11 thoughts on “Enabling Cheating In Relationships (Enough Is Enough)”

  1. **and now after this very important message of wisdom, we pass out the collection plate in hopes that the words of the brave brotha’, The Reverend Bill, will inspire you to give to the cause. Give so that we can maintain this vigil on the ills of what passes for game. Give so that the good Reverend Bill can continue to educate and allow you to fornicate. For 33 cents a day, you can continue to seek improvement while knowing that he shares the knowledge that allows you to play. Give. Dont let ya’ wife/husband know, BUT GIVE!!!**

    True indeed. I hate these lame azz playas whose sole means of pulling off the heist is to involve everyone around them. If its in your nature to stray, then do that shyt down wind from you SO and do it on your own. Obviously, at some point or another EVERYONE will need a wingman/victim to take the hit but that should be one of those 1 in a million “damn i cant believe I played myself and got gaught” needs and NOT be the built in escape hatch. Dudes, listen up… If you go into a situation knowing WHO can help you escape, chances are you gonna get caught. Yes have your PLAN ready just in case but dont always have WHO on speed dial. I been the wingman and trust me, you dont want that.
    Once, back in the day, we were hanging out about 7 or nine deep (it was an odd number). Dudes “wifey” rolls up on the spot forcing all of us to take sum kind of hit. Since my “buddy” for the night had not gotten there yet, that allowed me to throw my arm around HIS other chick and put off the appearance that he was the lonely one. It worked, his “wifey” was beaming and glowing because she could obviously trust her man. (Please note: “other chick” knew he had a girl that lived 2 blocks away so she was not completely caught off gaurd when the SO showed up.) “Wifey” was giddly talking with all of us like we were her peeps’… he of course had steam coming out his ears. Why?? hahahaha, well… A well trained or smart wingman knows YOU HAVE TO SELL the situation. Having said that, I sat there running my hand up and down “other chicks” azz, kept kissing/licking her neck, even kept trying to look down her shirt while she laughed and said “NO” as she kept pushing my hand down from actually cupping them! My response was something like “its not like i havent seen them before, stop playing”!! LOL So….

    (FYI: one of our homegirls had sneaked off and called the chick i was with and told her what happened. When she showed up she sat next to me and now I had my arm around two girls.)

    1)dudes “wifey” hated me because i was obviously going to be a bad influence on him
    2)dudes “wifey” stayed so long that the other chick eventually left after being felt up by me for about 2 hours
    3)me and dude (we were casual at best) had even less of a relationship after that. LOL
    4)few months later dudes “other” chick got got by me.

    Im still waiting on the Thank You Cisco for saving me from getting caught. That allowed me to settle down and actually marry Angie. You were a good fall man!! and no LOLing, Im serious!!

    1. Thank you for passing the hat, brother! πŸ˜€ The congregation will have their opportunity to donate when I compile my eBooks just in time for the holiday gift-giving season! πŸ˜‰

      As far as the old “Grab the girl that’s not yours” trick, been there, done that, got the T-shirt! πŸ˜€ hahaha Your boy DEFINITELY should have thanked you PROFUSELY for getting him out of a jam and although I understand his feelings were hurt that you got to feel up the chick he wanted, C’est La Vie. He has to eat that one. That’s what he gets for slackin’ on his game and gettin’ caught slippin’.

      I’m glad you brought up the “bad influence” hit. I’ve been taking that hit for longer than most guys have been rapping to girls. Chicks always want to believe they have their man on lock, when they never do. Their man was just playing it off like he was all about her so she could keep laying the **** down on command. Meanwhile, if the girlfriend(s) happened to be around, I was always doing my thing and checking out azz left and right. Since their men were acting as if they weren’t interested in any ass other than their girl’s, *I* would look like the bad influence and their girls would grumble if they heard I was going to be at a hangout where they weren’t invited.

      Meanwhile, I have *NEVER* suggested a trip to a strip club, being that chicks that do sexual stuff for money bore the hell out of me. I have *ALWAYS* been dragged to strip clubs by guys that HAVE GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES already, so I take the sideways glances and sneers from the ladies in stride as I laugh internally about things that *I* know about their relationships that they have no clue about. I’m glad to eat that one, because once again, there’s nothing their girls can do about it. The only downside would be if I wanted to kick it to one of the girlfriends’ sisters, which I most likely wouldn’t bother with in order to avoid massive amounts of bochinche.

      As far as you and the dude having less of a relationship, that’s ridiculous. πŸ™‚ You know how it is, though. Guys pride themselves on the chicks they’re able to pull and they like to believe and project to their friends that they did something special. If the next man, God Forbid their homeboy hits it also, it’s suddenly no big deal and they’re back to square 1 as far as props haha. Easy Come, Easy Go! πŸ˜€

      As far as the girlfriend showing up in the first place, as you can imagine from living around the way, I’ve seen PHYSICAL ALTERCATIONS happen because a girlfriend came around the way uninvited. The least would be that she gets pulled to the side and receives a stern talking-to. Next level is she gets screamed on in front of everybody for being out of pocket. Next level is physical altercation. Either of the last two levels usually ended with the chick being ejected from the neighborhood.. Not the block we were hanging out on, but THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD! πŸ˜€

      Where and when a chick was allowed to show up was a serious issue as far as around-the-way relationship power struggles. Her showing up was saying to everyone that saw her and knew she was out of line that she didn’t care WHAT her boyfriend thought and she was going to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to. Of course, this led to the obvious ultimatum that the chick didn’t think that she was going to hear which was that she could show up whenever she felt like… so long as she didn’t have girlfriend status anymore. This, of course, led to her suddenly coming to her senses and getting the **** out of dodge because acting independent wasn’t as important to her as continuing her relationship. *yawn*

      As far as the topic, yeah, there are some guys that perpetually get caught, so there’s no use in helping them out. You save them today, tomorrow, they get busted. You talk to their girl for them, they screw it up again next week. At some point you have to accept the situation and learn to just let it slide. Your boy will have a girlfriend or he won’t. **** it. \o/

  2. First of cheating is a 1 man job if you cant do it by yourself then you shouldn’t be attempting it at all. Second of all when most dudes are in a bind they ask dudes that already owe them i.e dudes that need help themselves which means they suck at it just as much as you do and now your in a southbound situation. If you should ever need a colabo from another dude it is highly suggested that you set it up from the getgo. Otherwise your gonna just pull in a dude who is even more unprepared than you are.

    1. All three of those are good points, C Jay.

      If you’re planning to “cheat” in the first place and you can’t pull it off by yourself, you SUCK and you don’t deserve to cheat anyway.

      Also, most of the guys that are going to try to help you are as clueless as you are. You’re not actually enlisting professional help. These guys are just as liable to get you caught as you are to get yourself caught.. if not MORE SO because they’re running their mouths to other people about your personal business.

  3. I dont think thats its so much as they are equally clueless as they are ill prepared. When a guy (and some of you lame ass girls too)has his “excuse”on speed dial, it keeps him from evolving and stepping his up. Not to mention most of the speed dial excuse-ers have the same problem solving scenerio on tap and never bother to adjust for actual situations. Thats why…

    If ya cant keep from getting caught you need to 1)stop letting them think they are the one. get a new gear in your game OR 2)STOP. settle your tired ass down. getting screamed at and having your rear window bashed out with a golf club (cougcoughTIGERWOODScoughcough) is not a cute look. πŸ™‚

    1. hahaha I’m going to have to look into this Tiger Woods thing TO-DAY, because you’re the second person to have brought it up in some kind of domestic dispute light! πŸ˜€ When I heard about it, it was just that he crashed his car and his woman had to break the window to get him out hahaha this might be interesting! πŸ˜€

      You bring up an important… A VERY IMPORTANT point. A lot of these same guys with no skillz to “cheat” are the same guys that use gimmicks to get laid in the first place. The main gimmick to get laid is to tell a chick that you’re exclusive with her. Since they fall for it every single time (cougcoughMCNAIRcoughcough), when they find out they’re just one of the chicks that you’re kickin’ it with, Houston, we might have a problem! πŸ˜€

      Gimmicks-in, Gimmicks-out. If you use gimmicks to get chicks, those same gimmicks are going to be the Spy’s Demise. It’s because it’s not natural to you. You can’t maintain the facade.

      Even though it’s actually boring and redundant, I love watching that show “Cheaters” because they catch dudes cheating in the wide ******* open! πŸ˜€ These dudes have GIRLFRIENDS or FIANCEES or whatever, live in some small-ass town with only three places to go, and *STILL* take their side-girl out to eat!!!

      ARE. YOU. *******. CRAZY???? πŸ˜€ What makes you think that if an entire television crew could sneak up on your ass holding hands and kissing some chick coming out of the only bar in town that you wouldn’t have gotten caught ANYWAY if your girl had enlisted her friends to keep an eye on you? Most of the time, these guys get caught ing PARKING LOTS which means that you DROVE THERE WITH YOUR SIDE CHICK so that everyone in creation could see you.

      This is the mark of a dude that’s out of his element. Hang it up. Like Frank said.. Either commit to your “girlfriend” FOR REAL or stop telling her she’s the one and let her stay on the roster if she feels like being one of your chicks or let her bounce.

      It’s better than getting the ole’ “golf club to the window” trick or worse! haha BELEEDAT! πŸ˜€

      1. Both of you bring up excellent points. When dating multiple people you have to somehow imply that you are not mutually exclusive with out directly implying you are seeing other people so if she does catch you “slippin” you were never mutually exclusive in the first place. Also if you are gonna “cheat” on your S.O it is very important!! that you tell the other chick from the get-go that she is the side chick. There is nothing worse that having to chicks mad @ you @ the same time.

        1. Yeah man. You have to have a hierarchy. It’s like a pyramid. Each chick knows less and less about the situation, but at the top is the chick that knows the most because you can’t afford for HER to find out something she wasn’t aware of and bounce on (leave) you.

          That saved my ass many a time when I used to date multiple chicks instead of just keepin’ it freelance. The baseline was “You’re not the only chick I’m dating” and then depending on how important the chick was, she was informed how deep the rabbit hole actually went. πŸ˜€

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